The Birth of a Mama
It’s taken three babies to finally birth me. I haven’t taken to this whole mama thing as quickly and as innately as I thought I would. When Abby, my first, was born, I tiptoed around in the hallway and hushed everyone who entered my doorway whenever she was napping, trying to ensure they wouldn’t wake the sleeping giant. My time was my time, and whenever she was awake, my time was hers. The fact that she was building up my milk supply, nursing for good 45-minute stretches, completely underscored my Nap-Nazi nickname.
When Esther was born, I was utterly and completely overwhelmed. I had thought one was pretty challenging, and I tried to dig my nails in against the downward trend of this new slope. My time was rapidly fleeting, and I fought against it as much as I could. When Essie was down for her morning nap, I’d sit Abby in front of a cartoon so I could have 30 minutes to check e-mail or surf the Internet or merely to fold a basket of laundry or finish a transcript. When Essie was down for her afternoon nap, I demanded that Abby nap, too, regardless of whether or not she really needed it, because, as my Aunt Karen says, let’s face it, naps are for you, not the kids.
Now that Caleb is here, I’m realizing I can’t avoid this mama thing anymore. My time is almost a thing of the past. I get snippets of time, here and there, and I value it and cherish it, but I don’t begrudge not getting more. I can feel my hands surrender the grip I’m holding on it and discovering that I’m actually enjoying being a mama more. Abby rarely naps anymore, and I’m not only getting used to the cacophony of boisterous activity all day long, I actually look forward to my time with just her; after all, one child awake is far easier than all three.
I know it sounds crazy. Mamas are just supposed to love being mamas, right from the start. Before I had kids, that’s what I thought, too, and I just knew I would immediately take to my new role easily. It’s been a longer delivery for me, longer than I expected, but I think I'm finally making my way through the birth canal.
When Esther was born, I was utterly and completely overwhelmed. I had thought one was pretty challenging, and I tried to dig my nails in against the downward trend of this new slope. My time was rapidly fleeting, and I fought against it as much as I could. When Essie was down for her morning nap, I’d sit Abby in front of a cartoon so I could have 30 minutes to check e-mail or surf the Internet or merely to fold a basket of laundry or finish a transcript. When Essie was down for her afternoon nap, I demanded that Abby nap, too, regardless of whether or not she really needed it, because, as my Aunt Karen says, let’s face it, naps are for you, not the kids.
Now that Caleb is here, I’m realizing I can’t avoid this mama thing anymore. My time is almost a thing of the past. I get snippets of time, here and there, and I value it and cherish it, but I don’t begrudge not getting more. I can feel my hands surrender the grip I’m holding on it and discovering that I’m actually enjoying being a mama more. Abby rarely naps anymore, and I’m not only getting used to the cacophony of boisterous activity all day long, I actually look forward to my time with just her; after all, one child awake is far easier than all three.
I know it sounds crazy. Mamas are just supposed to love being mamas, right from the start. Before I had kids, that’s what I thought, too, and I just knew I would immediately take to my new role easily. It’s been a longer delivery for me, longer than I expected, but I think I'm finally making my way through the birth canal.
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P.S. insure should be ensure :)