Parenting
Have you ever looked around at the types of moms (or dads) out there? Some follow after their little ones wherever they go and jump on whatever they do, followed with immediate feedback as to what they are doing and why it is or is not acceptable. I suppose there is something of value in this kind of mothering/parenting (and if you are a fan of this style, this is not to criticize you). The child is given complete instructions at ground zero, and there is rarely any second-guessing or second-“parenting” along the way. Somehow I didn’t make it into this elite group. I don’t have the same impulse, drive, or energy to follow my children around all day. There is far too much going on in life -- or too much laziness in my bones -- to center all my activities around their every move. So I make sure, starting from early on, that they are educated on the no-no’s of their immediate microcosm, and then I go about my day, always checking in on their whereabouts and keeping a bent ear on the tone of their play…you can always hear when it’s beginning to head downhill.
The other types of parents I have seen are the parents who literally childproof everything in their house. The mentality is probably more similar to mine, not moved to follow their child around constantly. However, I can see childproofing the kitchen and bathroom cabinets, where the death-breathing chemicals are, or the china hutch or maybe even the pantry, but beyond that, it seems almost like a handicap to childproof everything. If every cabinet or cupboard is locked up, how will the child transfer that to other homes he plays in, ones in which the cupboards are all free to open? It seems there must be a certain balance to this approach. At some point the child has to learn what “no” means, and the earlier the better.
And yes, even I have to acquiesce to the benefits and necessities of the immediate-feedback approach to parenting at this early level.
But whatever type of parent you are, there is one thing we all have in common: we love our kids and want to protect them; it's what dictates our actions. And I admit I'm lost most days at how to parent my own children. I'm forever watching the reactions or nonreactions of other parents in the hopes to gain some wisdom in this challenging, dynamic paradigm.
The other types of parents I have seen are the parents who literally childproof everything in their house. The mentality is probably more similar to mine, not moved to follow their child around constantly. However, I can see childproofing the kitchen and bathroom cabinets, where the death-breathing chemicals are, or the china hutch or maybe even the pantry, but beyond that, it seems almost like a handicap to childproof everything. If every cabinet or cupboard is locked up, how will the child transfer that to other homes he plays in, ones in which the cupboards are all free to open? It seems there must be a certain balance to this approach. At some point the child has to learn what “no” means, and the earlier the better.
And yes, even I have to acquiesce to the benefits and necessities of the immediate-feedback approach to parenting at this early level.
But whatever type of parent you are, there is one thing we all have in common: we love our kids and want to protect them; it's what dictates our actions. And I admit I'm lost most days at how to parent my own children. I'm forever watching the reactions or nonreactions of other parents in the hopes to gain some wisdom in this challenging, dynamic paradigm.
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