Strange Epiphany

I recently discovered something about myself. I whine with audience. My poor husband takes the brunt of my droning, since he’s my most-obvious audience. I whine about how tired I am, Abby’s discipline issues, how much work needs to be done around the house, and a myriad of other things that bother me throughout my day.

This epiphany came to me when I was bathing the girls by myself. I was straining to bend over the tub, bulging belly weighting me down, attempting to soap up my two squirmy worms, and I thought to myself, If my husband were here, I’d be complaining about how exhausting this is. He’s been home all summer, so the juxtaposition of his now being at work all week made this finding copiously apparent.

Without audience, I don’t whine, not really even in my head. Strange. So when no one is around, I go about my day, attitude in hand, whining in check, tasking with a positive outlook. In fact, the busier I am, the more cheerful I am, for the most part. I will say I get tired, but if I stay moving and if I’m productive in the end, I almost sing about my achievements, my work.

Why is this? Why do I complain when there are people around to hear me? It’s madness. It’s going to change.