Indelible Etchings

I am a caged bird of late.

My mind is loud with the cacophonous image and voice traffic of the past couple weeks, the argument I had with Eric last night, the controversial discussion over e-mail with an old friend, the problems we encountered at worship practice last week, the sisterly rivalries of my girls.

I don’t know what utopia I was raised in because I don’t remember one, but still my soul longs for a life that will clean up after itself. My kids should get along; people should make good decisions; life should fall easily into place. Unresolved issues lie on life’s unswept floor; they litter the plain of my mind. There, troubles lurk, imagined or not, until they can be neatly folded and put back into the cabinet where they should be, hopefully buried permanently. Yet the nails of even resolved conflicts often leave their bitter etchings.

Oh, to soar above the clutter, to rise above the befuddled clamor of this life.

I know when I’ve lingered too long at life’s door, staring perplexedly out at the confused masses. I know I don’t have all their answers, nor mine. Sometimes I cannot reach up high enough for help, it seems.

Change my water frequently; I’m likely to be in here awhile.

[Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God!
I will praise him again—my Savior and my God!]


Comments

Anonymous said…
I've been having the same battle going on. I think it's called spiritual warfare. I've noticed it comes in waves. I really hate spiritual warfare -- wish we could do without it, but apparently the Lord thinks we need it. Maybe we should try to convince the Lord otherwise :)
Unknown said…
I like that idea...it might take awhile to convince Him, though...like maybe eternity??
Anonymous said…
Sometimes the marks, scars, etchings are their to remind you that God got you through a period in your life. He never gave you more than you could handle. You were marked for a reason and though we may never be blessed to know the whole outcome or reason, we are God's children and it is for our benefit. He knows what you need, when you need it and just the right way to give it to you. We may stress because life just isnt the clean neat room we wanted. I think you have to give Him everything, all the things you cant change but wish more than anything you could. Its His life, not yours. You are His servant and with Him anything is possible!!
Anonymous said…
That first comment about the spiritual warfare was from me. I forgot to sign my name :)

mama
Alana said…
I think we all struggle with this. It is definitely spiritual warfare. I am becoming more and more aware of this. Thankfully these times ebb and flow. I'm thankful to be in an ebb for now...but we'll see how long that lasts!

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