Esther's Birth -- Part V

Introduction

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Before the fated pushing hour began, Eric and I discussed the naming of our little girl. We had been vacillating between Anna and Esther for months. So while I was in labor, as a way of finally deciding between the two, I said, “How about, if I have a c-section, we’ll name her Esther; if I have a VBAC, we’ll name her Anna,” with no particular meaning tied to the outcome. Eric argued (as he usually does), “Or how about, if you have a c-section, we’ll name her Anna because God will give us the grace to get through it, but if you have a VBAC, we’ll name her Esther because God will have miraculously revealed Himself to His people, like in the Biblical story of Esther.” That made perfect sense to me, so this is how we finally settled on her name.

So then came the part I was most fearful of: pushing. It was time for me to begin pushing, and even though I had no urge to push (mostly because I was so deadened to feeling because of the epidural), I obeyed orders. They did let me go as long as possible before beginning the pushing phase, but now it was time to face my fears. Dr. Gollin came in again to announce it was time for me to begin pushing and that she would only give me an hour before they would begin c-section preparations.

Nurse Marla was key at this point in my labor. She had been in labor and delivery for over 25 years and was exactly the coach I needed. She explained different techniques for pushing with an epidural. She explained that I should push starting from my diaphragm and work that push down the rest of my body and that I should aim my push toward the point up the wall where the wall and the ceiling meet. Weird, I know. She also devised a contraption using a u-shaped rod that attached to the end of the bed and a bed sheet which basically gave me something to pull on so I could use upper body strength as I pushed. About an hour into pushing, as the baby progressed down the birth canal (+1, 0, -1 stations), Marla went out to fetch the doctor. When she captured the doctor's attention, she said, “Doctor, we’re ready in here.” Dr. Gollin, who was standing at the nurse’s station, replied, “Ready to go this way (pointing to the OR) or that way (pointing to the delivery room)?” When Marla pointed her to my room, she was genuinely shocked to know that the baby was crowning and that a VBAC was imminent. None of the labor and delivery staff believed it would happen. Marla told me that all of them took one look at me when I entered the ward and said, “No way. She’s huge. She’s not going to pull this off.” Well, I didn’t. God did.

An hour and 20 minutes into pushing, Esther was born. She was born into a room of about 25 medical residents, doctors, and nurses. I looked up at Marla as I was pushing Esther out and said, “What’s the party for?” Apparently, they thought maybe this would be a case of shoulder dystocia, where the baby’s shoulders are too wide for the birth canal, and since it’s a teaching hospital, everyone was invited to witness this phenomenon. Instead, God brought them to witness His miracle. Where everyone knew I wouldn’t be able to deliver this 9-pound-11-ounce porker, God confounded them all by revealing His miraculous power and strength in midst of my weakness, in the midst of my fears. He revealed Himself to His people in our beautiful little Esther.

Happy 2nd birthday, Esther!