Freezing Happiness
Sometimes I could almost swear I’m living with a teenager, but then I look up to see that – nope, she’s still only four. She whips up the attitude at times, and it strikes out of nowhere. It’s such a puzzle to me; I was a fairly compliant child. Really. From where did this strong-willed creature birth? Oh, that’s right; I am rather strong-willed, and so is Eric, so that’s probably where.
Before going to the harvest festival a couple nights ago, I prep Abby with, “Okay, Abby. Now, we’re going to take a family picture tonight, and I want you to smile, or you won’t be getting any candy.” I know; awful, huh? Why don’t I think to state this in the positive, like, “Okay, Abby. If you smile for pictures tonight, Mommy will have a treat for you as a reward.” I don’t know. I guess it’s my strong pull toward the disciplinarian side of the coin, gotta pull out that negative reinforcement. I can’t seem to shake it. Anyway, she responds with, “But I don’t want to smile, Mom.” Have I jaded her so much to the camera that one little smile might kill her? Apparently.
So even after five takes, this is the end result:
I want to capture the happy memories of the event, but she couldn’t care less about the memories; she is so in the happiness of the moment, the one I’ve just squashed by trying to freeze her adorable fourness into one unforgettable snapshot. How can these two goals be reconciled? I’ve never been a great compromiser; I’m definitely an all-or-nothing type. Of course, it sours my mood for the rest of the evening. I can’t seem to get past the personal injury of her bad attitudes at times, even though she’s only four. I’m hoping my issues stem more from the fact that I’m pregnant and not that she’s hitting a four-going-on-fourteen phase.
I should probably just put the camera down for the next few years; maybe then she’ll be ready to spread the sunshine around more whenever it appears! ;-)
Before going to the harvest festival a couple nights ago, I prep Abby with, “Okay, Abby. Now, we’re going to take a family picture tonight, and I want you to smile, or you won’t be getting any candy.” I know; awful, huh? Why don’t I think to state this in the positive, like, “Okay, Abby. If you smile for pictures tonight, Mommy will have a treat for you as a reward.” I don’t know. I guess it’s my strong pull toward the disciplinarian side of the coin, gotta pull out that negative reinforcement. I can’t seem to shake it. Anyway, she responds with, “But I don’t want to smile, Mom.” Have I jaded her so much to the camera that one little smile might kill her? Apparently.
So even after five takes, this is the end result:
I want to capture the happy memories of the event, but she couldn’t care less about the memories; she is so in the happiness of the moment, the one I’ve just squashed by trying to freeze her adorable fourness into one unforgettable snapshot. How can these two goals be reconciled? I’ve never been a great compromiser; I’m definitely an all-or-nothing type. Of course, it sours my mood for the rest of the evening. I can’t seem to get past the personal injury of her bad attitudes at times, even though she’s only four. I’m hoping my issues stem more from the fact that I’m pregnant and not that she’s hitting a four-going-on-fourteen phase.I should probably just put the camera down for the next few years; maybe then she’ll be ready to spread the sunshine around more whenever it appears! ;-)
Comments
Not really-- you are a great Mama, capturing the memories. --but I can say that kid #3 may not have 800 pictures of his first day out of the womb, and 799 of the second, and so on! :)
But maybe he will.
Michelle, yes, it's the moulding of their character that IS so difficult. I think part of that moulding is teaching them to do exactly as we ask, which is part of moulding their character to be obedient to Christ, with more choices and flexibility as they continually grow and prove themselves responsible and obedient. Definitely the hardest job in parenting!!